|bad day...again...but not like the song
||[Mar. 8th, 2004|10:42 am]
|||||Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out||]|
Hey journal...everybody... audience of 2 or more...I'm having an extrememly bad day today and nothing went right at all... First I wake up late thus getting a detention. Then Bret rubs in my face that he got the lead the school musical... upset by the news I could hardly get any work done in class thus getting a bad grade.. Then breakbell rings so I goto get a biscuit, but there out, thus I buy dill chips... Then i goto see if i got riff or something know that bret got the lead but no I got snowboy freaking snowboy thus i tell the teacher i have no need to waiste my time on a small part so i quit...which might be bad since i'm going to be an actor.....I'm still stuck on my earlier problem and I may be going to prom with a girl that already has a bf...I mean it would be fun and everyone would be jelous or happy for me, but....dah I just want Becky or something... Why is it that everytime I'm upset that's my answer for everything... that I wish i had Becky... She just makes me feel good when I'm doing horrible...but what is there to lean on when she's the one that makes you feel horrible... I wish i had...someone...someone authentic and legitimate that cares about me and can comfort me...I h8 this town...there's really nothing left for me here... never really was...makes you think though, if you can't do good in a small town community play, what do u expect in the big city.. Why does everybody settle... I don't want to just settle... I always thought that getting the cosmotology degree and moving to ny would be the couragous out there on the limb curious thing to do, but what's more challenging or profound.. I want to be an actor, but i don't want to fail...it's good i have a back up plan.... I like jersey girls though, i font know what the deal is but there fun to talk to...everyone i met so far at least.... I know this is all so crazy just blurting out how i feel but it's a way of means for me to express my self... it's not like i have some kind of psyciatrst or something... What sucks is everyone all like "what's wrong?" i don't know where to start i just say "nothing" say"my contacts hurt" or something else belivible....I wish i could scream, stand, make a statment... I'm just more reserved laid back...
I don't want to be in so much pain anymore... My so called life of idiots and problems that plages my exitstence is an annoyance of my self being...